HOW TO BECOME A GOAT:

Step 1: Send your 23andMe results to Goat Island for analysis

Step 2: Submit your drawing of Tippy the Turtle

Step 3: Memorize the Goat “Core values”

Step 4: submit at least one addition to “goat peeves”

Step 5: Familiarize yourself with some of the “eargasms”

Step 6: Locate Harris Burdick

Step 7: Wait 4-6 weeks for processing